D.C.’s “Rubber Revolution” Matches Condoms To Personalities

A city run by a convicted crack head tax evader and a mayor who gives his cronies public contracts is tackling an AIDS epidemic with a government website that matches condoms to personalities.

The District of Columbia’s innovative “Rubber Revolution” urges residents to join the movement to take condoms out of hiding. “We want to get those rubbers out of your wallet, remove them from your purses and pull them out from under the beds of every ward in the city,” according to the new D.C. Department of Health website that encourages everyone to provide feedback on “anything that’s on your mind in the world of condoms.”

Information is available in seven languages and there’s even an engaging quiz to determine “what kind of condom are you?” The multiple choice test asks about favorite food, happy hour drink, dream job, television show and music. Subjects evidently get matched with the appropriate condom, which could be latex, flavored or magnum. There’s also a “condom university” that features detailed instructions—complete with illustrations—to help the novice condom user.

Those who don’t care to explore the publicly-financed web site can still order free condoms from the city by filling out a web form. No internet or computer? No problem. You can just call a toll-free number and speak to a customer service representative who will gladly mail the condoms in a discreet envelope.

The idea, according to city officials, is to promote safe sex in America’s AIDS capital. The District’s 3% AIDS infection rate is not only the country’s highest, its worse than that of West Africa. To put things in perspective, the Centers for Disease Control considers a 1% infection rate as the threshold for a severe epidemic.

But the question remains; are public resources best spent on this sort of shenanigan? Consider that D.C.’s perpetually corrupt government has been rocked by a series of scandals over the years. The city’s mayor (Adrian Fenty) just got booted after one term for using taxpayer-funded ads to promote a political donor’s business, giving his pals public contracts and taking Arab and Communist-financed overseas trips on taxpayer time. Judicial Watch has obtained documents associated with the controversial jaunts.

Then there’s the star of the D.C. council, convicted crack head Marion Barry, who evades taxes and stalks former girlfriends. He’s been elected to the city council four times since going to prison for using crack as mayor. The council’s chairman, Vincent Gray, got busted for illegally using official stationery to solicit donations for the Democratic Party and a city contractor to renovate his house.