Ted Kennedy Memoirs Steeply Priced

The veteran U.S. Senator best known for letting his young mistress drown in a car that he recklessly drove into a pond is selling copies of his memoirs for $1,000 a piece although that tragic event is not expected to be mentioned.

In the midst of a national financial crisis, Ted Kennedy, the famed Massachusetts Democrat, plans to sell a limited edition of his new book (“True Compass”) for 1,000 bucks a pop. The leather-bound versions will be electronically signed by Kennedy and sold through his publisher’s website. A self-described advocate of the poor, Kennedy reportedly got an $8 million advance to pen what is being promoted as his “inspiring legacy.” 

It’s probably safe to assume that the 77-year-old lawmaker omits in his new book the lowlight of his storied political career. First elected to the Senate in 1964, Kennedy literally got away with murder in 1969 when he fled after driving a car off a bridge and into a pond in Chappaquiddick, east of Martha’s Vineyard. 

He left his mistress, a 28-year-old Democratic campaign worker named Mary Jo Kopechne, to drown in the sinking vehicle. The two had been drinking at a party and Kennedy had an expired license and escaped the tragic incident unscathed. He eventually pleaded guilty to leaving the scene of a crime but got a slap on the hand, a two-month suspended jail sentence. 

Many believe Kennedy escaped justice, which is why the tragedy at Chappaquiddick has been called the most brilliant cover-up ever achieved in a nation where investigative procedures are well developed.

Two decades after the horrific event more light was shed on the cover-up when the foreman of the grand jury that investigated the accident came forward and confessed that the panel was pressured by a judge and a prosecutor not to pursue the case. The foreman said the jury was manipulated and blocked from doing its job.

Certainly, none of this will be mentioned in Kennedy’s pricey new book. Nor will his other numerous extramarital affairs, many reckless driving citations or well-documented public appearances while intoxicated.